Declan and Melissa

"And that is how I found myself sandwiched between the boda boda rider and the race organizer, freewheeling down the road towards Murang’a, wondering what my mother would say if anything went wrong!" Melissa shared, laughing.

That adventurous streak is part of what makes her and Declan work so well as a running duo. Married for sixteen years with four children, they’ve learned to balance their different personalities—Melissa’s spontaneity and Declan’s tendency to plan—both on and off the road.

"What makes it work," Melissa explains, "is that we each have separate running routines. I am an early bird and enjoy running in the morning while Declan prefers  late afternoons ."

"No, no, no," Declan interrupts, laughing. "That’s not true. I prefer running in the morning— it’s the waking up early that’s the challenge."

The COVID Effect: A New Beginning

With the pandemic prompting many people to become more proactive about their health, Declan was one of those who took a closer look at his fitness. "Someone mentioned I was getting a little chunky, a comment that blindsided me since I had always been skinny," Declan recalls. He hadn’t noticed the weight creeping up, and the comment pushed him to take action. When his employer put out the annual call to participate in the Lewa Marathon, an endurance race that raises money for community development and wildlife conservation, Declan decided to sign up. True to his nature as a planner, he found a 13-week training program and committed to it.

Training went well, but race day was a reality check. At the 30 km mark, an American trainee—who had never trained—zoomed past him with ease. Despite his best efforts to keep up, Declan couldn’t catch him, and the experience left him a bit deflated. "People are just built differently," he admits, reflecting on the humbling moment.

Melissa, on the other hand, had always been active. She ran throughout all four of her pregnancies and maintained a near-daily running routine. "I never plan my routes or how far I’ll run. I just know I need to be back by a certain time," she says.

"She doesn’t even track her stats," Declan adds with a smile.

One day, Melissa unknowingly ran a half-marathon—on a Thursday, no less. "The kids were on mid-term break, and I had a free morning. I just kept running, exploring different roads, and by the time I realized how far I’d gone, I had clocked a half marathon."

A Planner and a Free Spirit: Making It Work

Their running journey began with weekly Saturday morning breakfast dates before they had kids. Initially, they walked but added jogging to get to their favorite part of the date—breakfast—sooner. As their fitness and endurance improved, they ran for longer stretches. Then a neighbor invited Melissa to a “10 km in 10 days” challenge, and she was officially hooked on running.  

"We men often bring our goal-oriented mindset to walks with our partners," Declan reflects when asked how they handle their different running paces. He recalls a woman who once told her husband she no longer enjoyed their walks because he was always ten steps ahead, leaving her to stare at the back of his head. Determined not to make the same mistake, Declan has learned to balance his structured approach with Melissa’s spontaneity.

That balance became even more important when Melissa broke her leg while running in Ngong forest. During her slow recovery, Declan walked beside her, sometimes running ahead and circling back to meet his training goals while still staying by her side. "Walking with my wife has taught me to slow down and smell the roses," he admits.

Melissa laughs, rolling her eyes. "The truth is, he runs with me when he wants to keep to his slower recovery pace."

Beyond pace, running as a woman comes with challenges many men never have to consider. For Melissa, a big advantage of running with Declan is the sense of safety. 'When we run together, I can explore trails and places I’d normally avoid.

The Boda Boda Incident: A Lesson in Preparedness

After completing a full marathon and several smaller runs, Declan felt ready to take on a bigger challenge. "I decided to do a 50 km ultra-marathon in the Aberdares and had spent months training for it," he says. Melissa, however, decided to join him at the last minute. "I trusted that my regular daily running would carry me through," she explains, confident in her routine despite not having trained specifically for the ultra-marathon.

The first few kilometers up the mountain range were steep and challenging, but manageable. However, Melissa soon began to feel queasy and as the race wore on, her condition worsened.  With miles still ahead, they called the race organizer for help. As he was the sole support along a long stretch of rural roads, it took time for him to reach them. When he did, the best he could offer was a ride on his boda boda while he continued encouraging the other runners.

"And so there we were, a trio of sweaty human beings plying the country roads of Murang’a County. I started off as a runner and I was now a hypeman – encouraging other runners while I waited for my ride  to the nearest bathroom."

Declan managed to complete the race— an impressive feat that left  him basking in the afterglow for days afterward."The true humbling moment came when we got home , our youngest—who often spoke bluntly and was clearly unimpressed —took one look at our exhausted bodies and asked, ‘Is this what you wanted to do with your lives?’"

Letting Go of Performance Pressure

After the thrill of conquering the ultra-marathon, Declan threw himself back into training, setting his sights on another challenge—the Stanchart Marathon. But when he crossed the finish line, something felt off. The usual rush of accomplishment wasn’t there. His enthusiasm, once unwavering, had started to fade.

"After much reflection, I realized I had been putting unnecessary pressure on myself to maintain a weekly mileage and a strict training regime."

So he made a shift.

"At this stage of life, I still run regularly—about four times a week—but with lower mileage. Forty kilometers per week allows me to enjoy the outdoors, be present in the moment, and not succumb to the pressure of ticking off another run. I’m enjoying my running a lot more!"

Running as a Shared Adventure

Declan and Melissa’s story is proof that running isn’t just about speed, endurance, or competition—it can be a tool for connection, adventure, and lifelong learning. They’ve embraced their differences, found joy in their unique rhythms, and, most importantly, discovered a shared passion that keeps them moving forward—together.